UNHEALTHY: Defined as being in an ill state of health; harmful to character or moral health
I am not ill yet but close to becoming ill. I have headaches, I cannot sleep, I have anxiety attacks and more often than not, I am unable to eat. I have lost half my weight in the last five months without stepping in a gym once. I should be glad, shouldn't I?
I am not. I am miserable. I am in an unhealthy relationship. Well we are ok, when we are, but most of the time, I am exercising patience and willpower not to blow my top or go crazy. I do not mind you having a grandiose sense of yourself, or painting yourself bigger than life, you act it, you look it and if I don't know you, I would believe it to be true.
I enjoy the good things in life - good food, good company and a nice cup of coffee,but you are dripping with self-centeredness and vanity. It is all about you, and your millions (?) and your nice cars and the places you have been to. I will not judge you and say they are tall tales - I will give you the benefit of the doubt because I love you. And because I do - I believe you.
One thing I cannot stand is when you play with my emotions. Why do you do that? Why do you scare me out of my wits? Why do you serve my guilt on a silver platter? It is unfair. I would welcome it if you picked a fight - physical or verbal, because I may not be your equal but I know I can stand my own.
But playing with my emotions is a tad unfair. No actually, I take it back, it is so unfair. You do not pretend to be going through something just so you get sympathy and feed on it. Tsk. This is not the first time you did this. The first time you did it, I ended up mad and angry and made a fool of myself. You almost succeeded tonight - well you did about 50%. The next time you make an attempt, I will call you the boy who cried wolf.
I do not understand your intentions, why you are doing it. At this point, I am no longer seething with anger. You know how I feel? I feel pity for you. What happened in your childhood? Were you deprived? Did your parents wield an iron fist and scared you to submission?
The worst part about this is, you do not realize you have a problem. I definitely won't bring this up because I will end up as the worst villain in your head. I wish other people would tell you so, but I doubt if anyone has the courage to say so.
I can only offer a prayer for you like I always do. I pray that the hurt in your heart be healed, I pray that you let go of your emotional baggage and grudge-trash. Be free of them and appreciate what you have and enjoy the world. Life is so wonderful, breathe it, live it, love it. You can never go wrong!
